


Broken Nightlights (Iwaoi)

by eiixirr



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Haikyuu - Freeform, Hospitals, Lung Cancer, M/M, Sad, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27911485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eiixirr/pseuds/eiixirr
Summary: Oikawa lives in the hospital and basically so does Iwa since he is always at his side. Cancer is getting the best of them..
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Broken Nightlights (Iwaoi)

“It works! It still works!”

“Oikawa, it’s literally flickering on and off. Let me turn it off”

“No, Iwa-chan! We’re keeping it on”

It was nighttime now and Oikawa has a nightlight he refuses to turn off. He says, “it makes the hospital room less sad”. Now, Iwa on the other hand just wanted to sleep peacefully without the volleyball shaped nightlight flickering on and off.

“Oikawa, I will literally buy you a new one tomorrow can we please turn it off for just tonight”

The nightlight had been flickering for about a week now but it had only now begun to bother Iwa so much.

”You’re so mean to me Iwa-chan. Fine, you can turn it off”. Oikawa pouts then turns to face the large window, facing away from Iwa.

”Cmon Shittykawa don’t get mad at me-“

”Hmph!”

Iwa shakes his head then resides to his chair next to Oikawa’s bed. He caresses Oikawa’s head for a little before going to go to sleep. Oikawa of course doesn’t show it right now due to the nightlight situation, but he’s very happy Iwa is by his side right now.

Oikawa doesn’t like to say it but he wouldn’t know what to do if he was alone during these times. He gets very excited and happy when Iwa comes to visit (and like tonight, stays for the night).

————

In the morning Iwa keeps his promise and goes out to buy a new nightlight. “A blue one shaped like a heart”, Oikawa had told him.

In the end, Iwa could only find a blue nightlight shaped like a star. Iwa knew this wouldn’t bother Oikawa too much but he was mad because he felt like he could not do much for him lately. Only about a month ago had Oikawa been hospitalized and since then all Iwa has done is visit him. Of course Oikawa was happy with only that but Iwa still felt bad.

Back at the hospital, Iwa handed the bag to Oikawa.

”Is it the blue nightlight!?”

”Yeah”

Oikawa looks inside the bag and pulls out the box containing the blue star shaped nightlight. For a second he looks at it a bit confused but after he goes on a rant about it.

”Oh Iwa-chan it’s pretty! Where’d you end up getting it from? Can we test it out now? Did you buy batteries?”

As Iwa predicted, Oikawa didn’t care it wasn’t heart shaped. But that was exactly what kind of broke his heart. Oikawa hasn’t been as picky and whiney about things (other than his hair ) lately mostly because a lot of things have been happening that are out of his control. Oikawa didn’t want lung cancer but he has it. Oikawa didn’t want to stop playing volleyball but he had to. Oikawa didn’t want to end up living in a hospital because he can’t breathe well at times, but he has to. So Oikawa cut back on being picky. He just decided to be okay with things, well he was never okay with his hair being messy or falling out due to chemo. 

“Yeah I bought the batteries”

”Okay give them to me, I’ll put them in!”

Oikawa pulls the nightlight out of the box then puts the batteries into it. Iwa goes to turn off the lights then Oikawa sets the nightlight on a small table next to him and turns it on. (Oikawa never liked to nightlights that attach to a socket on the wall)

It shines a nice, pretty blue. It’s soft enough to not bother someone’s sleep. Oikawa just stares at it for a little before saying, 

“It’s really pretty Iwa-chan, just like me!”

”Dont go comparing something actually pretty to yourself”

Oikawa scoffs, “Ouch, that one hurt. But it’s okay because I know you don’t mean it!”

“Sure,, so um, Oikawa?”

Oikawa turns his head to face Iwa

”Yes, Iwa-chan?”

”Do you want anything?”

”What do you mean by that?”

”Im just asking if you want anything, like if there’s something you’ve been wanting”

”It’s not my birthday though”

”Yeah, no shit. I’m asking just cause” Not just cause, Iwa was asking because he felt the need to do more for him. Something. Anything.

”Hmm, a hug.”

”What?”

”I said I wanted a hug”

”From me?”

”Yes”

”That’s it?”

”Mhm”

“Right now?”

”Mhm”

Oikawa sits up a bit more and opens his arms, waiting for Iwa to hug him. And that’s what Iwa does. They hug for a while, Iwa ends up sitting down on the bed with Oikawa and they just sit there holding each other with the nightlight being their only source of light.

After a while, Iwa’s phone starts ringing. He pulls away from Oikawa and goes to answer the call. It’s from his mother, she needs help at home. 

“Oikawa I have to go, I probably won’t be back in time to stay for the night so I’ll see you tomorrow ok?”

Oikawa nods and smiles but his eyes look like pools of emptiness, and Iwa can’t help but notice this. He goes back to hug Oikawa once more then leaves.

“I wish you could stay forever, Iwa-chan”, Oikawa mumbles to himself.

He goes back to staring at the nightlight for the rest of the evening before his nurse comes in later. She asks where Iwa is and he just says he’s busy. After that, he falls asleep staring at the nightlight, wishing Iwa was there to hold his hand on that especially cold night.

————

The next few days were not good ones for Oikawa. He had to focus heavily on his breathing so that it didn’t hurt so much. But the entire time, Iwa was there. 

“Iwa-chan, hold my hand”

Oikawa reaches out his arms towards Iwa in an attempt to get him to hold his hand.

Iwa looks at Oikawa’s hand, it looks skinnier than before. This request wasn’t unusual though, Iwa had really stopped questioning anything Oikawa did after High School. Sometimes Oikawa would randomly sit on Iwa’s lap just cause, but most of the time Iwa would throw him off. 

“Sure”, Iwa grasps Oikawa’s hand and holds it while Oikawa just breathes. Iwa looks at him and Oikawa looks at him too. They just look at each other while Oikawa focuses on his breathing. 

“Iwa-chan, y-you’re so pretty”

”Oh. You are too, Oikawa”

Oikawa laughs lightly. 

“I caught you off guard there didn’t I?”

“Uh, yeah”

”So you think I’m pretty?”

”Shut up, dumbass”

”Mean Iwa-chan!”

After a couple of minutes of silence, Oikawa asks Iwa to turn off the lights and turn on the nightlight. 

“You’re obsessed with that thing”

”And? Please just turn it on. I’m tired, I want to sleep”

”Alright, alright”

Iwa turns off the lights and turns on the blue star shaped nightlight. Oikawa stares at the nightlight while drifting off to sleep. Iwa caresses his hair and sees small bald spots, he knows that Oikawa must be mad about those spots missing hair. Oikawa loves his hair more than anything, to be losing it is like losing a million dollars to Oikawa. 

Iwa opens his laptop to do some work as Oikawa sleeps. Its only mid day but it feels like nighttime due to the curtains covering the window and Oikawa loudly snoring. 

After about an hour or so of work and Oikawa loudly snoring, Iwa decides to head downstairs to get a cup of coffee. He honestly actually really liked the coffee they served at the mini cafe in the hospital, the only downside is that every time Iwa goes there he sees distressed family members. They either look like they hate the world or they’re crying. Either way, Iwa hates the scene. 

Iwa orders his coffee and sits down at a two person table. He would go back upstairs with Oikawa but the snoring was kind of bothering him. At some point he feels a tap on his shoulder. It’s Oikawa’s nurse.

”Hi Iwaizumi!”

”Oh, hi Yachi”

“I saw you here alone and decided to join you,, if you don’t mind”

”Of course not, look there’s an empty chair right next to me you can sit here”

”Thanks so much!”

Yachi places her iced coffee down and all of her nurse stuff.

”So how come you’re not,, working right now”

”Oh, I’m on a coffee break! How come you’re not with Oikawa right now?”

”He snores very loudly while he sleeps”

”Oh he’s sleeping right now? Good for him, he looks like he hasn’t been sleeping well recently”

And she was right. At night, he’ll randomly wake up because he can’t breathe well or he’s hurting somewhere and he’ll wake up Iwa to hold his hand while he stabilizes his breathing and falls back asleep. Of course this means Iwa hasn’t been getting enough sleep either but he doesn’t care.

”Yeah, at least he’s sleeping some”

”Mhm,, so I’ve been meaning to ask,, are you two a thing?”

Iwa coughs on his coffee which causes the whole cafe to look at him.

”Uh no, we are not a thing. I think”

”You think? He talks about you all the time as if you guys were dating. And the way you care about him, coming here everyday, it seems so boyfriend like. But sorry if i’m invading your privacy!!”

“No, no I’d get why you think that. Well we’re not officially anything but we’re really close. But that’s about it”

”Ah okay. Well I should head back now. It was nice talking to you!”

“And you as well, I should be heading back too”

They parted ways and Iwa made his way back to Oikawa’s room on the fifth floor. When he got back he saw Oikawa sitting in his bed with crossed arms and pouting.

“Where were you Iwa-chan?”

”I went to get coffee”

”You took so long”

”I was talking to Yachi”

”My nurse? Do you like her or something?”

”No! We were just talking”

”Hmm, okay. Did you get me anything?”

”No”

”Meanie”

Oikawa laid back down in bed and stared at the nightlight once more, basking in it beautiful blue light.

”Sorry, I’ll get you something next time”

”Okaaaay”

Oikawa goes back to sleep and Iwa goes back to work. And that’s how it is for the rest of the night. 

————

Oikawa doesn’t get better throughout the next few days. He’s been losing a lot of weight and has been having a lot of pain. But most of all he can’t breathe well.

”Iwa-chan. I think I’m dying”

”Don’t say that, Shittykawa”

”But-“

”Shut up”

”.. meanie.. so remember how you asked me if I wanted anything?”

”Yes and I already gave you what you wanted”

”Can I have something else?”

”What is it”

”I want to visit our old gym”

”At Aoba Johsai?”

”No, at the park. No shit Aoba Johsai”

”Well I’d have to talk to your doctors to see if you can go”

”So if they let me you'll take me?”

“Sure”

”Thank you, Iwa-chan”

”Don’t say thanks if I haven’t done anything yet”

”You just agreeing makes me happy” Oikawa tries to smile but is to weak to, instead, he reaches out for Iwa’s hand and Iwa holds it. They sit in a comfortable silence while rain is pattering on the window.

Oikawa never felt at home in the hospital, but he felt at home with Iwaizumi.

————

“They approved but Yachi has to come along in case anything happens”

“That’s fine, I like her”

”Oh?”

”As a nurse, I like her. We talk about flowers. Apparently she really likes gardening and I just like pretty things”

“Perfect match”

”Mhm, so when are we going”

”The school said you could go tomorrow at any time. Oh and you’ll need to be in a wheelchair”

”Oh, okay”

Oikawa was kind of bummed on the wheelchair part but he was very excited to visit his old school. He knew he wouldn’t be able to play anything but he really wanted to see the place that he worked so hard in. The place he loved so very much. 

“Thank you, Iwa-chan”

”Say thanks after the whole thing”

”But I’m thankful even now”

”I don’t care, wait until after tomorrow”

”Fine, meanie”

————

“It looks exactly the same”

”It’s only been seven years since we graduated, Oikawa”

”I’m not saying that’s a bad thing! I really like it!”

Oikawa was in awe, seeing the gym he spent so much time in. Iwa ran out saying he would be right back. He came a few minutes later wearing his jersey, but only the shirt

“It still fits me”

”Iwa-chan you look handsome”

”Yeah, yeah. Here’s yours”

Iwa throws Oikawa’s old jersey at him. He looks at it, takes off his shirt then puts the jersey on.

”Of course I was the captain!” He says as he points at the 1 on his shirt. 

“You were the captain of your team? That’s so cool!” says Yachi.

”Of course, I was the best!”

”Shut up Oikawa”, says Iwa

”I’m just stating facts!”

Yachi giggles, Oikawa has a smug look on his face, and Iwa is yelling at him. Oikawa is happy. He’s very happy. Iwa on the other hand does not feel well. The comment Oikawa made the other day, about him dying, was getting to him. Seeing Oikawa connected to wires and very skinny made him want to cry. But of course he didn’t.

They thank the principal for letting them visit and head back to the hospital. 

“Did you have fun?”

”Of course I did, Iwa-chan! Thank you!”

”You're welcome, now that I already did what you wanted you cannot ask for anything else”

”What if I want a muffin from the cafe?”

”That’s different”

”Hmm, okayyy”

Iwa turns off the lights and turns on the blue nightlight. He sits down and hold Oikawa’s hand.

”Iwa-chan look! It’s snowing outside!”

In the middle of March, it was still snowing. But that didn’t stop Oikawa’s excitement.

”Yeah it’s nice, now go to sleep”

”You’re no fun!”

This night, instead of falling asleep to the blue nightlight, Oikawa falls asleep watching snowflakes fall from the dark sky. He is content.

————

Oikawa woke up coughing like crazy. He couldn’t breathe.

Iwa woke up and realized it was serious and called for a nurse.

A couple of nurses had to help Oikawa.

But of course there wasn’t much they could do except calm his coughs.

Iwa held Oikawa’s hand as he tried to stabilize his breathing again.

The nurses left.

For the first time since he found out he was sick, Oikawa cried.

”I’m dying, Iwa-chan. No-nothings helping me.”

”Oikawa shh, don’t talk”

Iwa wiped away Oikawa’s tears as he tried to comfort him. Though there wasn’t much Iwa could do except hold his hand.

”Iwa-chan, I-I lo-“

”Oikawa stop talking, there’s no reason to worsen your state” 

Iwa knew what Oikawa was going to say. Not only did he stop him because he knew it hurt him to speak, but because he couldn’t bear to hear those three words.

“Mhm” was all Oikawa could say back.

They sat in silence until Oikawa finally fell asleep again.

————

Oikawa didn’t talk much or do anything for the next few days. He just sat in his bed watching the nightlight.

“Oikawa, if you keep that thing on for long it going to run out of battery”

Oikawa reaches over to a drawer and pulls out five more of the batteries that the nightlight uses. 

“And of course you’re prepared”

”Mhm”

Iwa was doing work on his laptop since Oikawa couldn’t really talk without it hurting. Of course Oikawa didn’t like this because he loved talking, especially to Iwa-chan. 

“Oikawa I’m gonna go get coffee, do you want anything?”

”A muffin please”, he says weakly. After that he coughs a bit then goes back to looking at the nightlight

This hurts Iwaizumi real bad. He hates that he can’t do anything to help Oikawa. He hates that they both just have to accept this and he hates how he knows that he will be losing Oikawa soon..

”Okay, I’ll be right back”

”Mhm”

In the cafe, Iwa runs into Yachi again.

“He’s still not doing well”, says Iwa.

”No he’s not, unfortunately”

”Will he uh, you know uh”

Iwa couldn’t ask the question. It was too much.

”Oh uh, in his condition he has maybe a month or so left”

”Oh okay thank you. I’m going back up now”

”Yeah, bye bye”

When in the elevator, Iwa can’t help but tear up. He doesn’t cry but he’s tearing up real bad. He already knew Oikawa didn’t have much time left but to hear it from someone else was too much. 

Iwa enters the room and hands Oikawa the muffin. It was chocolate chip one. Oikawa smiles and starts eating it. 

“You’re welcome”

”Oh, t-thank you Iwa-chan”

Oikawa keeps eating his muffin as he stares out of the window now. Whenever he stares out of the window, instead of being fixated on something it seems like his mind is empty and is just staring at something random. Iwa has noticed this, so he decides to get Oikawa’s attention by talking to him about the project he’s doing. Oikawa is always interested in what Iwa does and is always happy to listen to him when he talks about his projects. Iwaizumi is not just a person to Oikawa, Iwaizumi is home to Oikawa. 

————

It’s been a couple of weeks and all Oikawa does now is stare at the blue nightlight. He has yet to need to change the batteries which he is happy about. 

But

Oikawa still can’t breathe good.

Oikawa is still in a lot of pain.

Iwa knows this, and he hates that he cannot do anything except be there for Oikawa. Lately all they’ve been doing is holding hands in silence. Sometimes Iwa will say something and Oikawa would nod or shake his head in response.

Iwa was afraid for the day that was to come very soon.

————

“Iwa-“

”Yes, Oikawa?”

”Come, lay in b-bed with me. I’m cold”

“But you have- never mind, hold on let me turn my laptop off”

Iwa was going to tell him to just cuddle up to the blanket more but he actually didn’t mind laying in bed with Oikawa. Iwa got up and gently laid down next to Oikawa. He could hear his raspy breathing. 

“Iwa-chan, can I tell you s-something?”

”Yeah”

”I l-love you”

Iwa didn’t want to hear that. 

That was the last thing Iwaizumi wanted to hear. 

But he couldn’t help but feel the same.

”I love you too, Oikawa”

”Yay”

Oikawa fell asleep and so did Iwaizumi, in each other’s embrace. Oikawa was so very happy to be able to be right to Iwa as he slept, Oikawa had nice dreams that night.

————

Iwa woke up to no raspy breathing. 

Iwa immediately knew why.

He looked at Oikawa and saw him smiling. He checked his pulse.

Oikawa had passed away in his sleep.

————

It was a small funeral.

Lots of people knew Oikawa but couldn’t bear to go.

Those who did, cried their eyes out.

But Iwaizumi didn’t. And people mentally criticized him. But he didn’t care.

It was a closed casket. Iwa was thankful for that because he didn’t want to remember Oikawa like that, he was happier with remembering him that night, where they professed their love to one another. That’s what Iwaizumi wanted to remember. 

At the end, Yachi walked up to Iwaizumi. 

“So”, she said

”So”

“What now?”

”Now”, he started, “now we move on.”

”Yeah, hopefully I’ll see you around Iwaizumi”

”Yeah”

Yachi walked away. Truth is, they both knew it was best for them to not see each other again. They remind each other too much of what had happened. 

————

Iwaizumi was now home. In his bag was the blue nightlight. He pulls it out puts it on the desk in his room. He turns off all the lights and turns on the nightlight. It works for a little but starts to flicker on and off.

”Of course now is when you break”

He stands up to get the five extra batteries he had put in his bag, takes two, replaces the old ones with them and turns the nightlight back on.

”There, you’re no longer a broken nightlight”

END.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this at like four am one day and wrote most of it at one am today so i hope you enjoyed this :) or maybe i made you cry idk


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